PERSUASIVENESS part two, what we say/how we say it

We can use tools such as what we see or what we hear to gain compliance, but how can we be persuasive with what we say or how we act?

Requesting someone to relinquish free will and getting compliance is a special skill. It starts with selling yourself. Like anything for sale, it's all in the packaging. If you sound like a south Bronx cab driver (no disrespect, I was born in the Bronx) when you speak, you are bound to meet with resistance. How we speak says a lot about who we are. Never and I mean never use common language while on duty. It lowers you to the level of the common man. A common man is generally not in authority to request compliance.

Always be polite and respectful no matter who you are addressing. Let this be what you are known for within your organization, it should be your reputation.....it is your reputation.

The ONLY exception to this rule might be while working covertly, such as loss prevention working “internal” theft. You may need to sound less stuffy and more "street' while trying to gain trust or gathering evidence.

We should strive to use terms that include rather then separate others.

A priest may say: "All God's People"....implying you are one. This "includes" you, you want to belong, join, and participate. A politician may say "Every Good American".... again you want to be considered a good American so you fall in line.

It’s a simple and effective way of putting a person into a cooperative category, they joined the group, and you’re half way there. When you hear the old line "what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" it implies you think she is better then this place and so are you, it’s a subtle message (most smart women will see right through) but it is a good example of "including". Its simple but it works.

Situation, Dialog and example: Hospital Environment

A patient is being held for Behavioral/Mental Health evaluation.

As security, you will often be first intimate contact and how you treat the patient sets the tone for his/her therapy, as well as his feeling of safety, also true for the safety of the staff not to mention yourself. An open casual dialog is important. Many of these patients are here against their will and will look for any opportunity to elope if given a chance. We could strap them to a bed or chemically restrain them but this is not a "therapeutic" environment and not likely to achieve trust or gain compliance, it may only force the issue, setting up barriers, causing mistrust and requiring emotional repair. You want to include them in the process not mandate or force….if possible.

The key is dialog, constant and structured communication. This should include positive wording such as “we are here to help you” as apposed to “the doctor says you can’t leave yet”. Introduce yourself and maintain polite eye contact. Explain why you are there, be honest but do not over state the obvious. Use active listening and repeat what the patient is saying. Let them know you hear and understand them. Be sympathetic and understanding. Be conscious of body language (his as well as your own) Remember you are part of a very important process. I try to treat patients as if they are relatives, a brother, sister or cousin. The idea is you remain attached and part of the experience rather then just a blocking force to be dealt with.

Begin by being proactive and staying in that mind set. I often offer comfort items like food or drink (if the Doctor agrees, ask before offering) it serves as a peace token and subconsciously the patient now owes you some kind of gratitude. Don’t count on that but it may help. Never go off to retrieve such items, that is not your mission. You maintain watch while support staff brings blankets, food, coffee, phone etc.

Keeping the patient calm and conversant is easier then calming a person down after they have boiled over. Letting them know the steps in the process avoids the feeling of surprise and helplessness, they need to feel they are part of what is happening (included) not just having it thrust upon them. When appropriate explain everything you can to them, hold back only what is necessary or directed by medical staff. Never make promises and don’t build hopes on speculation, it’s not fair to the patient to say things like, “you’ll probably be going home soon, just relax”. This is a big no no. You have no way of knowing what is in store for this person, never act on history.

Once the patient comes to trust you and does comply, it is your duty to brief and educate any shift taking on the watch after you go off duty. There should never be any surprise for your team mates or the patient. If possible introduce the patient to the new watch and let them know they can be trusted, they are still safe and that you will check in on them. Your words have meaning, and you’ve earned their trust. Don’t break it. I always follow up with a patient, if I say I’ll check in on them once they are admitted, I make it a point to do that. It maintains trust and eases the way for other staff as well as the patient. You may encounter this person again some day and this rapport may pay big dividends in the future.

There are times when it may not be safe or appropriate for your contact to be that constant or intimate but it must always be present. You must be vigilant and aware at all times. Position yourself where the patient can see you but do not hover over a Behavioral/Mental Health patient. This only aggravates and incites them. It is not unlike a non verbal challenge. Standing an arm’s length away from me at all times in my opinion is a threat to my personal safety (it closes my reactionary gap) and is an invasion of personal space. I like to stand a bit off sides from a watch using my peripheral vision to monitor them as much as possible. It is less threatening and gives the patient a feeling of privacy. It is a body language technique that sends the “all is well” I’m not staring at you signal. The patient is persuaded to comply based on a relaxed feeling of well being not a situation based on force.

As an experiment, try this the next time you are in an elevator. Stand at what you feel is an appropriate distance from the closest rider in the lift. As people step out, stand your ground. Do not move. At the first chance they get, that person will move away from you as if you were diseased. It is strange how one moment it is just fine for you to be standing at a persons elbow and the next moment they can’t wait to move away from you. People need their space….don’t crowd them!

With calming, respectful tones and reassuring dialog as well as safe body mechanics, we can be watchful and maintain control even without asking for it.

Make no mistake; you must always be on guard to act if things change. Every step while in close contact must be reviewed and mental scenarios worked out just in case the “what if” factor happens. Having well trained partners is a must when seeking compliance during movement. Transporting a mental health patient can be a dangerous time. The patient is very aware that the window of opportunity to elope is closing and they can experience feelings of desperation.

I always have a patient gown up and remove street clothes and shoes. This can be a strong deterrent. Then again I have seen naked patients try to run for the street, you just never know.

If you remove the fear and mystery and replace it with feelings of trust and compassion, most patients will comply with any reasonable request. Security Officers in a hospital environment ware many hats, baby sitter, transporter, tea cart, prison guard, but it is always about maintaining control. Control is the key, persuasiveness just one tool to maintain that control.

RJ Mocsa

PERSUASIVNESS part one, perception

Being persuasive is a bit of an art. There will be times while in the course of performing your duties that you will need the compliance of people beyond your regular scope of control.

This may be on lookers in a crowd, patients in a medical facility, angry customers, intoxicated individuals, confused or disoriented geriatric/seniors, groups of teens, groups in time of emergency, persons in escort, etc. The issue is you have no real authority. That is to say you are not empowered with the "recognised" ability to command compliance. This can be problematic in times of crisis but not as difficult as you might think. If a security officer is in uniform and an emergency arises, he can expect some cooperation from the crowd. It's in our upbringing to respond to "official" requests by authority figures in times of crisis. The uniform, even though it has no real power is the symbol of knowledge and professionalism. Confused, scared or otherwise receptive individuals will blindly follow "the uniform" if commanded. We seem to need a symbol of authority to base our compliance on.

Two quick examples:

1) I recall years ago while working in uniform, I was on my way to work the day before Christmas. The roads were slippery and the day was dark. A line of cars including mine were stacking up at a red light in a major intersection. The car behind me had stopped a safe distance from my vehicle but the car behind him was not paying much attention and was moving too fast for that days road conditions. It hit the car behind me driving it into my vehicle. I put my flashers on and moved to the curb then got out to asses the damage. The man behind me did the same. It appeared he had little damage as did I. As I walked back to the third vehicle, I could see the woman at the wheel melt at the sight of my uniform. She never stopped to read my I.D. or collar flashes, she just saw the crisp line of a police uniform and as far as she knew, it was going to be a real bad Christmas, she had just rear ended a Cop. Did she?

No but when I asked if she was okay and asked for her insurance card, her answer was "Yes Officer". Although this is no more then any other person might ask if involved in an accident, the uniform gave me the justification in her eyes to request anything I needed. I would never purposely or intentionally attempt to pass myself off as law enforcement, but in times of crisis people are blind and will make these assumptions on their own.....Careful folks! this is a double edged sword! I told her there was no damage and to have a happy holiday, my Christmas gift to her. She was still yelling thank you officer as I walked back to my car.

2) While in a public building that was under partial renovation, the fire alarms sounded. The crowds of people walking by me in the lobby seemed to ignore the alarm and just looked around as if waiting for some thing else to tell them what to do (as if the alarm was not enough). I was off duty and in street clothes but I walked to an exit reached into my pocket an took out my keys (complete with BEST whistle) I blew three sharp notes and asked everyone to step this way please. Without hesitation the wanderers started advancing on the door to the street. I only needed to ask that they remain calm and move slowly (the expected term at such times) to gain compliance. The whistle was the instrument (no pun intended) of command. After hearing the alarm, this was all I needed to legitimize my request. As it turned out, a worker had set off the alarm while soldering pipe and all was well, but the alarm was sounded and the proper response was missing. I would rather be safe and embarrassed then sorry for my inaction.

The lesson is of course, that some people can and often will focus on what they perceive as symbols of authority. We must be cognisant of these tools and learn to use them without exploiting them unfairly or unnecessarily.

RJ Mosca